when i make a joke to myself and no one’s around to hear it
first of all, who let me get so emotionally invested in a television show
My anaconda will consider it
My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.
Re: Your Anaconda,
Thank you for your consideration. Please keep my cover letter and resume in your files in case of any future openings. Good luck in all future endeavors.
A bunless hun
Dreams would be much more fun if they were multi-player servers that other sleeping people could join.
if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances
I don’t care that I am a full grown human my parents should still carry me in from the car when I pretend to be asleep
Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.